Thorn in my Flesh

 What troubles me the most that even constant praying does not mend?  The needed solace for things passing away, the impending march to an unknown future - a destination fraught with uncertainty.  The gnawing fear of abandonment that in the last breath of life there is neither shadow nor presence of the divine.

To find myself unaccompanied in this last leg of the journey bereft of people that lived beyond the earthly confines of this life, the angels of the heavens, my God whom I called on.  Not that I am lacking in either faith or its substance called trust but that this trek is one that can only be made in solitude.

Is this not the marking of a restless heart looking for a place of everlasting peace?  That this world never affords in all its passing glory breeding in its stead its contempt for time bound merriment?  Yet, this is where the journey is taking me - a final resting place with neither time or space that can be sensed.  A world eternal which my mind fails to grasp or understand.