In the Quiet of the Church

 Yesterday, May 17, 2024 before the 6:30 pm mass commenced, this older man went behind me and placed both hands on my shoulders.  Startled, I screamed a resounding , "No!" that the parishioners in front of the church turned around where I was seated at the back pew.  This man caught unawares by my reaction asked, "what did I do?" to which I replied, "don't bother me!"

Nobody knows from their vantage point what I have endured with this man who has for many years now beleaguered me with unwanted attention.  This is not the first time that this man touched me without my consent.  This is not the first time that I told the priest in the confessional box that this man is bothering me.  I suspect this is not the last time he will try to approach me with the intention of engaging me into unwanted conversations or try to touch me.

What emboldens this man is because everyone seems to have an excuse for him.  "He has dementia.  It is part of the aging process. Something is not right about his thinking process.  Just keep saying no."  These are some words people used to excuse his behavior or offer as an explanation for it.

I must admit it is difficult to act at your rudest, unforgiving behavior in church when you are the recipient of unwanted attention from a fellow parishioner.  Even my mother tells me just to move to a different seat somewhere in front where this man can't just approach me.  Oh but he does because where I sit in church is not a deterrent.  He will wait for me at the church doors as I exit or worst, barricade my path in the parking lot.  Yesterday I have had it and I am now writing down every occurrence in my blog to keep the unwanted encounters documented.  Maybe, somebody in church will finally hear me.

I refuse to act rudely in church when this man harasses me but he is moving the needle of escalation.  If I cannot be safe in church, where should I go?  And how do you endure another comment from this man when he tells you, "I am glad I am already married because I will ran after you."  And what is he doing now alive as his wife is who accompanies him at every church event, is he not in hot pursuit?  I want him to STOP and if it means shouting in church, calling his behavior out, legally demanding safety from church officials, I will continue to court an audience.  This man's predatory actions should not spill into the church disturbing my peace when all I wanted was safe harbor.

HELP!