I’m Lost

 “The Lord is my helper and my protector. In him, my heart has hoped and I have been helped. And my flesh has flourished again. And from my will, I shall confess to him.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭27:7‬ ‭CPDV‬‬

https://www.bible.com/42/psa.27.7.cpdv

I thought I knew where to go but I’ve lost my compass and guide.  I don’t know which direction to turn.  I am at a crossroad in life.  I bravely moved to where the voice called within me to live a simple life, to remove all pretenses of worldly wiles yet here I am longing to view the sunset with a friend.  Wanting, needing for a ghost that is gone forever.

When does the mourning ever end?  Or does it?  Am I consigned to a restless life wondering what if?  What if?  Am I just waiting to die, to banish all thoughts of feeling a smile coming on to my face without reservations?  Lord God the weight of aging rests heavy in my heart.  I feel tired.