Forgiveness from the Heart

 “Then his lord called him, and he said to him: 'You wicked servant, I forgave you all your debt, because you pleaded with me. Therefore, should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I also had compassion on you?' And his lord, being angry, handed him over to the torturers, until he repaid the entire debt. So, too, shall my heavenly Father do to you, if each one of you will not forgive his brother from your hearts."”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18:32-35‬ ‭CPDV‬‬

https://www.bible.com/42/mat.18.32-35.cpdv

It is difficult to forgive someone who caused pain, harm or suffering.  Often, there is a lust for retribution, justice, and revenge.  Consumed with the inflicted pain, the caustic reaction is to give as good as received.  An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth is the malediction.

God talked about compassion and forgiveness from the heart.  Does this mean I do not acknowledge the pain nor account for justice?  How do I reconcile mercy and justice?  What paradoxical conundrum is this that God wants to set as example?

Without forgiveness in the heart it is impossible to move past the pain because its poison creates deeper recriminations.  Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or thwarting justice.  It means asking for the grace to be released from the tenterhooks of suspended grief.  It means letting go of the hurt so our heart is empty and ready to be filled with compassion.  

Lord, how many times do I hurt you and yet seek your mercy and forgiveness?  Teach me to do the same when someone hurts me.  It is not your will for me to cling to this pain where it burrows deep in my heart, hardening it into a calloused impervious fortress of hate.  Help me to let the pain wash over me like a wave and anoint me with your oil of healing so that I may see the person who caused me hurt is just as broken as I am and in need of forgiving.  Then and only then will compassion embrace my heart.