Rebuilding a Life

A part of me is fighting to live in spite of this loss.  I began by looking inwards and found spiritual strength.  The process of rebuilding is not silent.  It seeks expression - from inside out.  When I look at myself in the mirror seven months today after his death, I do not see this tired, pitiful person.  I've shed this huge emotional baggage of dealing with unresolved guilt.  I felt bad, terribly so, that I could not save my dearest husband even if I had all the resources at my disposal.  I had to let go.

From this sadness is born the resolved to live again, to rebuild my life and to carry on his mission.  For me, it isn't over and probably never will.  As long as I breathe, I will never, ever let go of my deep love for him.  He was the center of my life; the only man I ever truly loved.