40th Day of Death

I did not attend the memorial service held in your honor by your brothers and sisters 40 days after your death.  I think your oldest daughter went but none in your immediate family.

I don’t have to justify to anyone how I grieve.  You do not only belong to me but to your kins who wanted to celebrate your life customary to their inclinations.  That is their prerogative and I respect that.  Turning me to embrace a cultural expectation is something that requires more than a persuasive guilt trip.  I have to agree that would be the best course of action to take.

I’ve always been a rebel.  I am a strong Asian woman who married outside of cultural expectations.  I married against natural cultural proclivities all in the name of love.  To challenge that love and loyalty now just because I was absent from your family sponsored memorial service is absurd.  I served you well.  I loved you deeply.  I defended you against all the world’s many trials.  I was your partner till the end.

No one can change the life we had.  No one can say otherwise that I was untrue.  As you know, I believed above all — I live life with authenticity.  I kept my promise.

Popular Posts